Bangkok, oriental setting

A busride to end all busrides. 13 hours it took, from Phuket to Bangkok, with two toilet breaks and one lunch stop along the way. But finally I made it to Thailand's latest capitol, and certainly the biggest and busiest: Bangkok.
For someone with a sucky sense of direction such as myself, the labyrinth* that is Bangkok can certainly pose a challenge; I'm slightly less forgiving when the local taxi drivers can't seem to find their way around the messy maze**. I had already given up the idea of perusing the streets on my very lonesome, and was booked and set for three different day tours.
I started with the floating markets at Damnoensaduak, which, touristy as they were, gave quite the local impression I was going for. Tiny, hardly seaworthy longboats jam packed with merchandise such as vegetables, flowers, fish and trinkets floated noiselessly along the canals, their skippers trading with each other, the locals and, of course, the tourists. I wasn't really in a shopping mode, which I rarely am, but I did cough up a couple of hundred bahts for a sarong. A very manly sarong, mind you; no colourful flowers or hearts or any of that girly stuff. No, I bought myself a man sarong. A manrong, if you will. The afternoon was spent at the Rose Garden (although I didn't see a single rose), in which I enjoyed a cultural village show, including music, dancing, swordplay, thai boxing and a Thai wedding. Very interesting, indeed.
Next up was a visit to the most wellknown, whistle-worthy bridge in Thailand: The bridge over the river Kwai. Walking through the war cemetary and the Death Railway museum, you got quite the feel of the tremendous horrors that the over 10 000 prisoners of war had to endure: Famine, disease, depravation of sleep, hard labour and so on. After that it was kind of easy to forgive the rather shaky construction on the railway that took us halfway back to Bangkok.
And of course, no first visit to Bangkok is complete without visiting the wonderfully lavish*** Grand Palace, Wat Traimit (featuring the world's largest gold buddha) and Wat Poh (starring the world's largest reclining buddha). It was on and off with shoes all day long. Riddle me this, by the way: In buddhist temples you must take off your shoes (thereby exposing your feet, which are considered unclean) and your hat (thereby exposing your head, which is considered holy). At the same time, you're considered disrespectful if you don't cover your legs and your shoulders (because of, you know, every religion's perverse attitude towards anything even remotely sexual). Whats up with that? Inconsistency? You'd bet!
In between the daytrips I perused the streets of Bangkok (also known as Krung Thep, which is short for the city's full name, Krungthepmahanakhon Amornrattanakosin Mahintharayutthaya Mahadilokphop Noppharat Ratchathaniburirom Udomratchaniwetmahasathan Amonphiman Awatansathit Sakkathattiyawitsanukamprasit, roughly translated to The city of angels, the great city, the residence of the Emerald Buddha, the impregnable city (of Ayutthaya) of God Indra, the grand capital of the world endowed with nine precious gems, the happy city, abounding in an enormous Royal Palace that resembles the heavenly abode where reigns the reincarnated God, a city given by Indra and built by Vishnukarn). The smell, the noise, the intense traffic, the humid heat and the utter lack of urban planning all played part in making Bangkok quite the challenge for the lone traveller. And of course, that just makes the city even more exotic and interesting.
At the busy, bustling, backpackery street of Khao San Road, the vendors were even more jam-packed than usual. They tried to sell me all kinds of goods and sevices, including, but not limited to, wooden frogs that sounded like frogs, zippos the size of of a small backpack, massage with happy ending, Armani styled tailored suits, roasted insects and so forth. The only item I did purchase, though, was a pair of genuine**** Ray-Bans for B100, and with those, I headed to my hotel to meet my family for the next few weeks: It was time for pre departure meeting for my overlanding group.
*) Or is it a maze?
**) Or is it a labyrinth?
***) I'll rephrase that later, when I'm safely back home, and thus can't be charged for disrespecting the royal family...
****) They didn't have a certificate of authenticity, but surely they can't be counterfeit, right? In that case, the sunnies wouldn't say Ray-Ban, they'd say something like Ray-Han, or Bay-Ran, or Yar-Nab, or suchlike. Right? Right? Anyone? Bueller?