Hué we are

Not far from Hoi An is Hué*, a spiritual town in middle Vietnam, with strong mandarin connections and once the imperial capitol.
After a quick detour to Da Nang and its lavish marble statue workshop, we embarked on a short, five hour journey to Hué. On the way there, however, is one of Vietnam's most strategically important places: Hai Van pass, overlooking Lang Co lagoon in the Gulf of Tonkin. Those in control of Hai Van pass control the transport routes from North Vietnam to south (and vice, you know, versa), both inland and by sea. You can see far and wide, which is why both the French and later the Americans conquered it and built their bunkers there.
As the only city in Vietnam, Hué still do royal banquets. The concept is as simple as it is touristy. Each company selects (or as we did, rather more close to reality, randomly assign) a king and a queen, all dress up in traditional mandarin clothing and sit down for a traditional multi-course dinner, each dish lavishly garnered with vegetables turned into statuettes of, mostly, phoenixes (phoenii?). The king takes his high seat in front of the painting of the dragon (symbol of power, appropriate for a man, right?) and the queen in front of the phoenix (symbol of beauty, appropriate for a woman, right?) and all dine while listening to a traditional band performing traditional, and sometimes contemporary, music. As chance would have it, Trevor drew the king card, and his real-life wife Val became the queen. What are the odds?**
After the banquet, the student-run bar of Brown Eyes offered free shots and 2-for-1 drinks, which Kim, Isa and I enthusiastically downed. As we came back to the hotel we were greeted by a sad notice: Mhari's dad had taken a turn for the worse, so she and Kevin had to leave for home straight away. We said our goodbyes to the Scots and hoped that everything would work out fine.
Next morning, each of us got a scooter. Unfortunately, each of us also got a driver, meaning we wouldn't be driving ourselves, not even us with a motorcycle licence. The not so speedy, but oh so scenic, drive took us through crowded streets, highways, desolate roads, dirt roads and narrow forest paths. A whole deal of sights was visited, including, but not limited to, a farmer's market, imperial tombs, the death match arena where elephants used to fight tigers, an orphanarium, Thien Mu pagoda and lunch at a nunnery. The way back was taken via a dragon-boat along Perfume River.
After a long day and a long shower, I, yet again, met up we Chez, who had conveniently arrived during the day. A very nice restaurant with bridges and greenery and waterfalls inside served a delicious meal (including vinegar for the chips) and added a surprise on the bill: 2000 dong for the napkin. Yep, they tried to charge us for the napkin. Nope, not gonna happen. Not today, not any day. No sireebob.
Not far from the napkin place was a beer garden, which boasted about 30 beers on their menu, including the black gold of brews. Unfortunately, they were out of Guinness, but a nice Urquell and a Hoegaarden found their way to my throat, and it was a nice change from all the local pilsners.
Next morning a must-do trip to the Citadel was on the agenda. As the former empire was heavily influenced by Chinese customs, the Imperial city in which the citadel is located follows the same pattern as the Forbidden City in Beijing. Lots of space, lavish buildings, pagodas, opera theatres and temples were some of the contents of this majestic maison, and elephants to boot.
There was no time to catch an opera though, as it was closing in on afternoon, and with it, the rapid boarding of our last Vietnamese overnight train. Dinner onboard would consist of baguette with salami and La Vache qui rit, paired with crisps and jellies, conveniently purchased at the supermarket before boarding. The food served in the restaurant cart is not recommended for westerners, and it felt a bit unnecessary to risk spending the better part of a shaky, 12 hour trainride on its not too crispy clean toilets. Before boarding the train, however, we said our goodbyes to Björg, who had decided to end the trip in Hué and thereafter heading back to Hoi An. The rest of us, what few that was left of us, set the bearing for north.
*) Pronounced 'who-eh', not 'Hugh' as some would believe
**) No really, what are the odds of a real life couple becoming king and queen? We had two couples in our group. With the king and queen being randomly selected independently, amongst three men and nine women, you do the maths.